zhiyang

Sun, 13 Jul 2008 11:21:17 GMT

FUCK. I just crush my new specs.

Sat, 12 Jul 2008 18:28:25 GMT

Sad song. Beautiful lyrics. A bit too short though. But a nice song nonetheless.

Caught "Hancock" with Marcus and Chandra. Not a bad movie, but it's not up to Will Smith's usual standard=(
Hanging out at Harry's Bar quite often nowadays. Can't say much about the crowd, cause they're usually twice my age-_-'' but the jazz/live performances are quite DOPE! Haha. National Day Parade's coming. And I'll be getting super "good" seats for the actual event. Yay! Haha this will be my first live NDP lo.

To bitch a bit, how come Singapore stores' music selection is so limited? Argh it's damn fustrating to keep searching, but not finding ANY stores that sells Diablo Swing Orchestra/ Epica/Trans-Siberian Orchestra. Argh.

Anyway here's the lyrics.

While Your Lips Are Still Red

Sweet little words made for silence
Not talk
Young heart for love
Not heartache
Dark hair for catching the wind
Not to veil the sight of a cold world

Kiss while your lips are still red
While he's still silent
Rest while bosom is still untouched, unveiled
Hold another hand while the hand's still without a tool
Drown into eyes while they're still blind
Love while the night still hides the withering dawn

First day of love never comes back
A passionate hour's never a wasted one
The violin, the poet's hand,
Every thawing heart plays your theme with care

Kiss while your lips are still red
While he's still silent
Rest while bosom is still untouched, unveiled
Hold another hand while the hand's still without a tool
Drown into eyes while they're still blind
Love while the night still hides the withering dawn

Kiss while your lips are still red
While he's still silent
Rest while bosom is still untouched, unveiled
Hold another hand while the hand's still without a tool
Drown into eyes while they're still blind
Love while the night still hides the withering dawn

Fri, 09 May 2008 18:28:27 GMT

Been doing some poems-reading these few days. Here's two that I really like:

The Night Has a Thousand Eyes
by Francis William Bourdillan

The Night has a thousand eyes,
     And the day but one;
Yet the light of the bright world dies
     With the dying sun.

The mind has a thousand ees,
     And the heart but one;
Yet the light of a whole world dies
     When love is done.

Next is a pretty long one.

Tommy
-by Rudyard Kipling

I went into a public-'ouse to get a pint o' beer,
The publican 'e up an' sez, 'We serve no red-coats here.'
The girls be'ind the bar they laughed an' giggled fit to die,
I outs into the streets again an' to myself sez I:
   O' it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' Tommy, go away';
   But it's 'Thank you, Mister Atkins', when the band begins to
      play-
   The band begins to play, my boys, the band begins to play,
   O it's 'Thank you, Mister Atkins', when the band begins to play.

I went into a theatre as sober as could be,
They gave a drunk civillian room, but 'andn't none for me;
They sent me to the gallery or round the music-'alls,
But when it comes to fightin', Lord! they'll shove me in the stalls!
   For it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' Tommy wait
      outside';
   But it's 'Special train for Atkins' when the troopers on the
      tide-,
   O it's 'Special train for Atkins' when the trooper's on the tide.

Yes, makin' mock o' uniforms that guard you while you sleep
Is cheaper than them uniforms, an' they're starvation cheap,
An' hustlin' drunken soldiers when they're goin' large a bit
Is five times better business than paradin' in full kit.
   Then it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' Tommy, 'ow's yer
      soul?
   But it's 'Thin red line of heroes' when the drums begin to roll,
   The drums begin to roll, my boys, the drums begin to roll,
   O' it's 'Thin red line of heroes' when the drums begin to roll.

We aren't no thind red heroes, nor we aren't no blackguards too,
But single men in barracks, most remarkable like you;
An' if sometimes our conduck isn't all your fancy paints,
Why single men in barracks don't grow into plaster saints;
   While it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' Tommy, fall
      be'ind
   But it's 'Please to walk in front, sir' , when there's trouble in the
      wind,
   There's trouble in the wind, my boys, there's trouble in the
      wind,
   O' it's 'Please to walk in front,sir' , when there's trouble in the
      wind.

You talk o' better food for us, an' schools, an' fires, an' all;
We'll wait for extry rations if you treat us rational.
Don't mess about the cook-room slops, but prove it to our face
The Widow's uniform is not the soldier-man's disgrace.
   For it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' 'Chuck him out, the
      brute!'
   But it's 'Saviour of 'is country' when the guns begin to shoot;
   An' it's Tommy this, an' Tommy htat, an' Tommy anything you please;
   An' Tommy ain't no blooming fool - you bet that Tommy sees!

To all the guys doing NS out there=p

Sat, 03 May 2008 17:34:01 GMT

My taste in music is entering it's weird phrase again-_-'' Here's a song that I really like.

Fri, 18 Apr 2008 19:14:50 GMT

nice song.

Fined $200 for littering=( this is a bad month for me....

Fri, 21 Mar 2008 15:10:14 GMT

I've been catching up on my reading the past few weeks. One interesting topic I'm reading up on is democracy, and it is really what I term "chimology". Haha I probably don't understand half of what I'm reading. But I did learn some interesting things, and the book did provok a few other interesting thoughts.

For example, the literal meaning of democracy comes from 2 greek words; 'demos' which means the mob, and 'cratos' the rule of. So democracy literally means rule of the mob. Plato actually hated the idea of democracy as a form of government, because to him, it is the rule of opinions over knowledge. And as I pointed out with HK during our very heated-_-'' debate over the so-called evils of communism, communist governments are actually DEMOCRATIC; after all the communist governments do have the consent of the majority of the people, though they were probably so over-dosed with indoctrination and fear that rationality is far from their mind. No, I'm not defending the atrocities commited by the communist governments, especially the culture revolution in China, but the world isn't separated into black and white, democracy good and communism evil, no matter how much we like them to be.

Second interesting fact: democracy is different from liberty. Both are different entity, and sadly sometimes mutually exculsive. The rule of the majority might not be the best of everyone, because the majority might not actually want to protect, and sometimes even try to erode, what we often refers to as the "basic rights of humans"; as evidently seen before the liberalising of the African-Americans. Yet democracy is vital to good governance, especially in the modern industrialised age, but it cannot exist in it's most ideal form, or it might very well result in what the book refers to as the "tyranncy of the mob"

On a lighter note, I'm sure plenty of roads were flooded during the heavy downpour on wednesday. But have you seen the top floor of a building flooded?=p HAHA!!! The ceiling of the bunk next to mine(wich is thankfully empty) actually partially collasped due to the heavy rain, and water was like gushing through the hole, flooding the entire fourth level. I thought it was pretty funny; makes my boring NS life a tat more interesting.

Haha I found my third place again=p

Fri, 15 Feb 2008 14:01:09 GMT

was watching Rental Magica on my plat-mate ipod...and the ending song caught my attention...haha nice song=)

Aruiteikou

Holding our hurt hands together again and again
Walking on this road of nothing but anxiety
Within the days that slowly flowed by
The things that we gained
Are so warm and lovely

Hey, while the time is still like this, let's laugh and walk
Because you're here, I can advance forward
Now our thoughts become one
And show us the road, so don't ever let go of my hand...

When I look back, you're always there
And I was able to walk in the deep, dark forest
Certainly we've stumbled
But the thread that we tied
Won't become undone so easily

Hey, while the time is still like this, let's support ourselves and walk
Because I'm here, we should advance forward
Now our wishes, one by one
Turn into the road, so I'll walk on with my feet

The important thing now turns into you

Hey, while the time is still like this, let's laugh and walk
Because you're here, I can advance forward
Now our thoughts become one
And show us the road, so I'll never, ever let go of my hand...

Fri, 18 Jan 2008 10:37:42 GMT

Youre my angel, and I'm your devil........
sighz...

Tue, 25 Dec 2007 18:03:09 GMT

Merry Christmas to all!!! Haha.

Year end dinner bash at Suntec was pretty fun. After the seminar, went to eat outside Esplanade, where we met this bunch of ppl, whom were dressed in outrageous costume!!! Haha most of them were japanese though. They just finished some show, when we met them. Haha had fun taking pictures with them lolz. After that we went to St James Powerhouse to celebrate friend's birthday, but we got there very late, ard 2am plus. Haha but we got in for free, cause their card machine was down=p Haha I went Zouk for some SIM thingy too. But it was seriously boring-_-'' but it was fun cause of Long Zang lol.........he's like the clown whom everyone is laughing at. Haha. Anyway here's the pics.

Zhixiang and me.

Joel, Me and Perline

Me and Huimiang

Act cool-_-''

??? wat's she trying to grab?

ok, i dun know how to rotate the stupid pic-_-''

IT'S SPIDERMAN!!!

Wong Fei Hong!!!

881 remake=)

OMG!!! It's Peter Parker!!!=p

Candid pic...

ARG...

=)

super big =)

alright that's most of the pic i have. Have a great new year everyone!!!!!=)

Wed, 05 Dec 2007 09:58:04 GMT

Haven't been updating for a long time. Haha nothing much to say really, plus I've been really busy.

I was outside my house at 3am, smoking, and a thought struck me. It seems as if every major break-up is a turning point in my life, that I grew up after each break-up. Can't wait for the next one...........................SIAO!!! kidding only!!! After the most recent one, I seemed to turn from a teenager (yes a 21yr old teenager) into an adult. I'm more concerned about other stuff compared to last time; stuff like money(how to earn it, not only spending it), politics, careers, my future, etc etc, which I'm avivdly pursuing now. And the people surrounding me changed too. I really do miss some of my old friends. I've changed in my perspectives, my thoughts, and my actions. Good or bad, only time will tell.
P.S: I've said that I'll be here if you need my help, and I do mean it. If you need my help or anything just give me a call or something.

Haha I've decided to take the advice of Robert T Kiyosaki's books (I think everyone should read his books) that I've read, and go out to try somethings that I normally would have said "no" to. But time is seriously in short supply for me=(

Think I'm falling for someone (or maybe I'm just doing substitution, whatever) that I shouldn't, cause she has a boyfriend who is also my friend.-_-'' nice gals are all taken up. Sigh.

Anyway I'll be at Suntec next friday. Going onstage to collect my promotion!!! yay!!!=)

Fri, 09 Nov 2007 19:14:13 GMT

Unholy Confessions

"I'll try," she said as he walked away.
"Try not to lose you."
Two vibrant hearts could change.
Nothing tears the being more than deception,
unmasked fear.
"I'll be here waiting" tested but secure.

Nothing hurts my world,
just affects the ones around me
When sin's deep in my blood,
you'll be the one to fall.

"I wish I could be the one,
the one who won't care at all
But being the one on the stand,
I know the way to go, no one's guiding me.
When time soaked with blood turns its back,
I know it's hard to fall.
Confined in me was your heart
I know it's hurting you, but it's killing me."

Nothing will last in this life,
our time is spent constructing,
now you're perfecting a world... meant to sin.
Constrict your hands around me,
squeeze till I cannot breathe,
this air tastes dead inside me,
contribute to our plague.
Break all your promises,
tear down this steadfast wall,
restraints are useless here,
tasting salvation's near.

Seize The Day

Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over

I see my vision burn, I feel my memories fade with time
But I'm too young to worry
These streets we travel on will undergo our same lost past

I found you here, now please just stay for a while
I can move on with you around
I hand you my mortal life, but will it be forever?
I'd do anything for a smile, holding you 'til our time is done
We both know the day will come, but I don't want to leave you

I see my vision burn, I feel my memories fade with time
But I'm too young to worry (a melody, a memory, or just one picture)

Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over

Newborn life replacing all of us, changing this fable we live in
No longer needed here so where do we go?
Will you take a journey tonight, follow me past the walls of death?
But girl, what if there is no eternal life?

I see my vision burn, I feel my memories fade with time
But I'm too young to worry (a melody, a memory, or just one picture)

Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over

Trials in life, questions of us existing here, don't wanna die alone without you here
Please tell me what we have is real

So, what if I never hold you, yeah, or kiss your lips again?
Woooaaah, so I never want to leave you and the memories of us to see
I beg don't leave me

Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over

Trials in life, questions of us existing here, don't wanna die alone without you here
Please tell me what we have is real

Silence you lost me, no chance for one more day [x2 then continues in the background]
I stand here alone
Falling away from you, no chance to get back home
I stand here alone
Falling away from you, no chance to get back home

Facebook is confusing...

Sun, 07 Oct 2007 19:12:11 GMT

Just came back. Was quite emo just now. Nearly cried. Haiz... Only know what you lost till the day you lose it. Nvm. I WILL MAKE IT FOR THE 18th BATCH!!!!! Basically we went to welcome back this grp of ppl from a special course. And there were like hundred plus ppl lining beside the streets shouting and cheering like crazy ppl. Seriously it was so loud that police came to investigate lol-_-'' If you guys were anywhere near clarke quay u would probably had heard us. Haha was so happy for my friends whom manage to secure a place and came back.... changed. NVM. I WILL MAKE IT FOR THE NXT BATCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fri, 05 Oct 2007 17:25:46 GMT

Been really really busy recently. Been working 7 day per week. Haha didn't even had time to go library anymore=( I think I kena fined until siao liao... Had a lot of ppl asking me why I work so much for what... haha a multitude of reasons i guess. Don't feel like explaining. Anyway finally have a break tml.
Haha. Some stupid stuff in camp...Destiny Child's Lose My Breath is like stuck in my head cause my bunkmates keep singing it-_-'' And I name two of my bunkmates Yuan Ing: Frodo and Kenneth: Samwise Gamki cause they SERIOUSLY look like hobbits when we're doing the MOD4 route march. Crap I'm going to burn A LOT of weekends lolz=( And I kena arrow to go brunei at year end. Thought I siam the aus trip safe le. But the arrows still found me in the end. Haiz. At least cigarettes are cheap there...

Fri, 28 Sep 2007 19:06:05 GMT

Ah fuck. I'm having a bad weekend already. Dread the rest of this weekend. Sigh................

Sun, 16 Sep 2007 11:58:19 GMT

I'm gonna be pretty busy this month. Charging ahead with my job. Haha my boss is heaping lots of stress on me now. But yet I secretly craves stress.=) Keep falling sick recently, almost every weekend. Haha this time of the year always fall sick. Must be a curse or something. Argh I still can't wait to get out NS. It's my duty, but it's still a serious waste of time... Met up with the old boys on friday. Sadly quite few people turn up. Same old people turned up; lester, mingen. ah wen, kenneth and weihan, with their respective gf. Hmmm peifen turned up too, and no she had not grow an inch over the years=p Hah! Saturday was spent working, pop by Peifen's workplace during dinnertime. After work I went to eat supper at this Teo Chew Mui place near Zouk. The food is quite nice, judging from the veges of course. Busy busy, was pretty down this weekend cause I'm feeling quite stress out and what not. Plus the thought of booking in is always there to cast a gloom over everything. Oh well. Grant me the serenity to accept what I cannot change.=p Alright, next week, full steam ahead with my life! Carpe Diem!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thu, 13 Sep 2007 18:56:30 GMT

Ok I've found the qoute...but it's not the original one. So here goes...

Dakeyras recalled the day he himself had tested Danyal. Deep in Nadir territory assassins had come upon him, and he had slain them. Danyal had asked him how it was that he killed with such ease.

He had walked away from her and stooped to lift a pebble. "Catch this," he had said, flicking the stone toward her. Her hand had snaked out, and she had caught the pebble deftly.

"That was easy, was it not?"

"Yes," she had admitted.

"Now, if I had Krylla and Miriel here, and two men had knives at their throats, and you were told if you missed the pebble they would die, would it still be easy to catch? The onset of fear makes the simplest actions complex and difficult. I am what I am because whatever the consequences, the pebble remains a pebble."

"Can you teach me?"

I don't have the time." She had argued, and finally he had said, "What do you fear most at this moment?"

"I fear losing you."

He had moved away from her and lifted a second pebble. Clouds had partly obscured the moonlight, and she had strained to see his hand. "I am going to throw this to you," he had said. "If you catch it, you stay and I train you. If you miss it, you return to Skarta."

"No, that's not fair! The light is poor."

"Life is not fair, Danyal. If you do not agree, then I ride away alone."

"Then I agree."

Without another word he had flicked the stone toward her- a bad throw, moving too fast and to her left. Her hand had flashed out, and the pebble bounced against her palm. Even as it had falled, her fingers had snaked around it, clutching it life a prize. She had laughed. "Why so pleased?" he asked her.

"I won!"

"No, tell me what you did."

"I conquered my fear."

"No."

"Well, what then? I don't understand."

"You must if you wish to learn."

Suddenly, she had smiled. "I understand the mystery, Waylander."

"Then tell me what you did."

"I caught a pebble in the moonlight."

Mon, 10 Sep 2007 20:37:13 GMT

"I caught a pebble in the moonlight..."
I love this line from one of David Gemwell's book. Can't find the exact qoute, but I'll post it when i find it.

Mon, 10 Sep 2007 04:29:14 GMT

Haven't had time to really blog much, haha actually I also kinda lazy to blog nowadays. Hmmm anyway last week's KL trip was very very fun!!! And my platoon cohesion wasn't that bad anyway. This week had a event at Singapore Conference Hall. After it end, we went to Han's at Raffles Place to eat dinner and chill, before heading over to Sky, this pub near velvet dragon, which in the end some of them went (i still dun get clubbing=p) haha anyway i'm really lazy to type, and i'm sick today, which is why I'm not back in camp. No I did not AWOL!!!

Joline and Louie smoking outside the lobby

Sherin and me at the hotel room

Went to the best fried oyster stall in KL!!!

And since I can't eat oyster, I had to settle for this yummy VEGETARIAN Ramily burger!=p

Xuwei and Me outside the dessert stall

Xuwei make me take the same pose many times cause she keep saying not nice-_-''

Yiyang, Zhixiang, Louie, Jimmy and Me

The super yummy kiwi ice!!!

Sherin force-feeding me the kiwi ice

Then she force me to eat the tissue after dripping kiwi ice all over me lol=(

Alright that's all for now. Kinda lazy to go upload more. Haha but life been pretty ok. But sometimes I stil.......... haha=) rent this korean drama My Sassy Chung Hyung. Haha freaking nice!!!! just finish watching it yesterday.=)

Thu, 23 Aug 2007 15:44:35 GMT

Alright. Just a quick update before I quickly go to sleep. First week back in camp after my course is........TIRING. After one month of non-exercise, I am seriously out of shape. Had a short 5km run on tuesday (which I felt like dying after not running for a month), IPPT on wednesday ( surprising I still got a silver, probably cause if I didn't I would have to report back on sat for extra training. haha incentive really does work!), an a 4km route march with LDS. Seriously the route march is the worst lolz. For those who had the chance to don on MOD4 before, wearing LDS is like 10times worse! I felt as if I was being steamed to death, it was so bloody hot! Haha but still, I guess it's a matter of re-getting used to Chemical Defence training again.

Anyway I'm going to KL tml. Have to wake up like VERY early. But the most pissed thing is I have to miss the seminar, which cost me quite a bit of money, and is the main reason for going to KL in the first place, cause of AHM on sunday. ARGH! Oh well, just take it as a holiday lolz. Haha who knows, maybe I would get the chance to know that girl=p And I must take lots of picture!!!=) Ok those who want to buy stuff from KL please msg me alright.

My whole platoon "volunteered" for Standard Chartered thingy. Hope my knee don't break! Haha been kinda down these few days, with my... sentimental dreams and tiring days. At least I can cheer myself up on the trip.=)

Sun, 19 Aug 2007 17:38:20 GMT

busy busy busy. haha at least I completed my Jeep course and got my SAF driving permit, which is like totally useless lolz. But I should be taking my civilian one soon, since I already know how to drive a lousy SAF vehicle, I think driving a civilian one should be a piece of cake. Haha on my personal life, I'm quite happy since I recently got in touch with a lot of lost friends. Haha sometimes I really think I wasted 2 years of my life in relationships. I lost/neglected so many of my friends, and ended up with nothing.=p But I guess sometimes it's worth it. Sometimes la=) Haha I guess everyone should learn how to laugh at ourselves, if not we'll probably be very sad in this cruel world. Hah! Big smile everyone!=) especially MINZHI !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=) =) =)

Hehz. I still miss her sometimes. yes, pls dun scold me=( haha but there's this girl that caught my eye. Haha but I think I wun go know her, since the mysterious quality is quite attractive, and i really wun have time for any serious relationship, and I'm really SHY!!!!!=p I feel like I lost a lot of my communication skill in these 2 years. Haha but again I am slowly regaining it=) wish my luck!

Mon, 06 Aug 2007 15:45:59 GMT

I went to Ezy Video at J8 just now with the intention of renting a movie to watch. Haha in the end, I ended up standing inside for an hour watching cartoons on the tv inside. Haha but today is a good day too. Found this really good book in the library, "The Power of Purpose". Very very good. Here's some extracts.

Aristotle talks about these ideas in his book Ethics. He begins that book with an attempt to figure out what makes people happy. Pleasure is his first thougt- things that feel good, that taste good, and that satisfy appetites lead to a kind of happiness. But this is a selfish and fleeting kind of happiness, and it does not appeal to those good things in men and women that separate them from animals.

So Aristotle then talks about honour:being recognized by others as a good and important person- being honoursed- makes people happy. Yet Aristotle knows that tying happiness to make whims of popular opinion is dangerous. The wrong people are often honoured, while the best people are often neglected or despised.

That leads Aristotle to the idea of virture- happiness, he says next, is about being virtuou, being good. But a person could be good all day long and not get anything done. Aristotle is a big believer in action over passivity; his larger philosophy rests on the idea that truth is expressed by people doing things they are good at. So virture in general is less appealing to Aristotle than virture in action.

Seriously this is a good book. And i saw alson and issac at KSL. What a coincidence. Haha kbox soon!!! Thank you vanessa for giving me advice, although i accidently disregarded it=p Haha don't fall down too much in cheerleading.=)

PS: Emily if you're reading this, go get the book! I think it would be very benificial to you. But... haha don't think you would really get it. To know why i say this, read pg4 to 52. Or find out about Ralph Waldo Emerson.=)

Sun, 05 Aug 2007 15:46:53 GMT

Today was quite a good day. Mostly in a happy mood. Haha thanks Sherin for telling me stuff=) Haha and yes i am going to KL soon. Gonna go attend a seminar. Cost me 300bucks lol. sobz sobz. But i think it would be very benificial for me!=) Haha listening to Avenged Sevenfold. Love their "Lips of Deceit". The opening riff was like WOW!!! Haha. Driving test tml. Sianz. Hope i can pass..................................

Lips of Deceit

The mark I breathe on you.
It's burning through your soul.
The breath I waste.
Losing control.
I bleed in pain.
Testing what I know.
Lips soaked in deceit.
Pull me from here.
No one's innocent.
So why do I feel bad?
But guilt keeps creeping, creeping up on me.
Guilt. Tearing me up inside.
The innocent.
An evil in disguise.
The face of beauty to fall for.
I fall to my knees, deceitful.
Brought down by feelings of regret.
Again your mind has failed the test.
Not everyone feels the same.
Pacifist blinded by the game.
Stand tall. They'll break your heart.
Stand tall. They'll smash your ego.
Stand tall. They'll tear you down.
Stand tall. Scar your soul.
Break your thought.
Fuck your mind.
The mark I breathe on you.
It's burning through your soul.
The breath I waste.
Losing control.
I bleed in pain.
Testing what I know.
Lips soaked in deceit.
Pull me from this hole.

haha saw this gal at clarke quay jus now that look damn familiar, and she seem to find me familiar too. haha but i too shy to approach her, so i acted dao/cool.......haha that is sooooo dumb.=p haha nvm i'll probably see her again.

Thu, 02 Aug 2007 14:35:14 GMT

Busy with a lot of stuff now. Had my company cohesion outing yesterday. Went marina bay for steamboat. In the end we went to bowl cause our pc ordered us to-_-'' Plenty of funny things happened. For example i accidently stepped into the lane and promptly slid a meter into the lane and fell on my butt=( it was so humilating! Haha althought the outing was quite boring, it was nice to see my platoon mates after so long.

On that fateful day, I decided to just make peace with myself. I keep trying to weed you out of my life; stop thinking of you, stop visiting your blog, etc etc etc. But it wasn't until you left that I realise how entwined my life is with you. The moment I read the preview of Jay Chou's new movie, I thought of watching it with you. When I take the escalator at J8, I automatically turn and wanted to hug you just for that few brief seconds like I always do. I distinctly remember the smooth feel of your lips on my cheek, and the moment of pure, childish joy at being kissed by you. There's so much more that I miss about you. Yet we can't be together. Even if you accept me again, you probably won't have time for me, nor would I have time for you. You wouldn't change for me, nor can I accept things as it currently is. I suspose it can be called a "Texas standoff". I can't stop myself from thinking of you, from a simple smile when I think of the funny things you said, to ugly jealousy, to fantasies in which we could be together and happy again (to which I always tell myself to stop dreaming), to utter lonliness when i realise.... as minzhi put it " after one big round, we're back to where we started". But things might get better, when there's life, there's hope. Thus whenever I start to think about you (which seems to strike any time of the day), I would just tell myself quietly, "Stop it. Whatever happens it's none of your business anymore. Life will get better."

And maybe, just maybe, when I repeat it enough times, it would really become true.

Bittersweet memories:

Close your eyes,
Give my your hands
Darling.
Can you feel my heart beating,
Do you understand.

Sat, 28 Jul 2007 05:16:42 GMT

I found closure. While at a crossroad yesterday, not knowing wat to do, i asked my god. And i was answered. Even though at times the bad feelings still come, i feel at peace now. Haha career first now.=)

Wed, 18 Jul 2007 15:17:01 GMT

I just want to say one thing. I miss you. Really really miss you.